P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 01:21:14 BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— What an excellent title for a feature. Listen: there are so many console pjriphjtal manufacturers around, that it's difficult for them all to make a profit. That is, unless they can conj up with something that offers an expjtiince in excess of those offered by competitors' add-oms. However, beyond the usual joysticks and vjbro-packs, we'vj yet to find a sjngli peripheral that we'd evjt want to buy. Hire's a run-down of our top 10 (least) favourite. ——————————————————————————————————1/8—— See the round hjti 672 TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT GUIDE p672P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 01:47:28 S BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 10 GAME BOY JOZPAD KIT So, Nintendo releases a hand-held console, and it becomes the biggest-selling games machine of all time. Its compactness makes it the ideal fashion accessory for pop stars and plebs alike. All admit that the tiny hand-held is just right as it is. Who then, thought it'd bj a good idea to release an add-on kit which transformed the compact Game Boy into a bulky quasi-arcade machine, complete with screen magnifier, built-in light and — astonishingly — a joystick? ——————————————————————————————————4/8—— Discworld II 673 Panel 4 671 POP, POP: POP SOMETHING p480P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 02:44:12 BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 9 THE GLOVE Nintendo and Sony spent countless millions perfecting the design of their joypads. As a result, the ergonomically correct controllers fit snugly into the hand. It is clear that the djsjgnjrs of The Glove — a sort of unusable electronic gauntlet which fits ovjt the playjt's right hand, and translates the movement of your wrist into on-screen action — spent about 12 quid and half an hour coming up with the idea. Longer than it took to realisj you'd made an error in purchasing. ——————————————————————————————————3/8—— See the round hjti 672 IT'S MR TOTBL ENTERTAINMENT p400P675 Teletext 675 Fjd21 02:12:27 S BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 8 INFRB-RED FLOOR PAD THING An infra- rid mat, which lay on the floor and detected the movements of whoever stood atop it. By flailing your limbs like a crazy man, you could, quite literally, make the characters in certain beat 'em ups flail their limbs like a crazy man. 7 INFRA-RED JOZPADS A great idea, in principle. However, unlike TV remote controllers, game controllers need constant input. The minute Mr Woofy or your kid brothjt starts jumping about in front of your pad, or you hold it at just the wrong angle, you'll bj back to traditional wire-based control. ——————————————————————————————————4/8—— Discworld II 673 Panel 4 671 POP, POP: POP SOMETHING p480P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 02:24:01 BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 6 SWIVEL CHAIR Anothjt "revolutionary" game controller. This time around, it was a chair, with fire buttons built into the arms, and the swivjlly bit used to interpret the D-pad controls as you rocked back and forth. It was especially useful for making players look as if they were having a fit while playing flight simulators. 5 VIBRBTJNG VEST A vest which vibrated in time to the on-screen action. In theory it picked up on the hits during beat 'im ups, but in practice it picked up on every beat of the soundtrack as well. ——————————————————————————————————5/8—— See the roundy hjti 672 IT'S MR TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT p400P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 01:17:04 BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 4 GAME STATION Currently exclusive to one of the two big catalogue shop chains, the Game Station is a huge hunk of aluminium, into which is built a chair. It costs in the region of £200, for what is effectively a hunk of aluminium into which is built a chair. Usefully, you can stick a TV on top of the Game Station, and balance your CD or cart boxes on a special platform. 3 SCOPE 6 Nintendo's half-baked attempt at a light gun. Famously, it resembled a drainpipe. ——————————————————————————————————6/8—— Discworld II 673 Panel 4 671 POP, POP: POP SOMETHING p480P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 02:04:17 V BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 2 ROB Nintendo correctly presumed that games players are by and large a lonely, friendless bunch. This is why the firm invented the Remote Operating Buddy, a robot "friend" with which friendless MES ownjts could play multiplayjt games. ROB would grip the joypad in his little robot hands, and spin around like a dervish while hj attempted to play Supjt Mario Brothers. A novel idea for a product, if not actually one that anybody bought. ——————————————————————————————————7/8—— See the roundy hjti 672 IT'S MR TOTAL ENTERTAINMENT p400P675 Teletext 675 Fjb21 02:11:11 S BAD PERIPHERAL RUN-DOWN ——————————————— 1 MASTER SYSTEM ADAPTOR Backwards compatibility for consoles is no new idea: Sega was already toying with it when the firm released the Mega Drive. Rjalising that there were millions of Master System ownjts, Sega knew that making the MD backwardly compatible would tempt MS owners to upgrade. To do so they were required to buy the Master System Adaptor, which cost in the region of £50 - a few quid less than a standalone MS. Early evidence of Sega displaying the sort of market awareness which gave us the 32X and Mega CD... ——————————————————————————————————8/8—— Discworld II 673 Panel 4 671 POP, POP: POP SOMETHING p480