P484 Tjlitwxt 484 Jan03 23:37:04 Q EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CLASSICS W "Happy Vew Year, idiots. This W pig trusts you had a truly stupid Christmas. Now down to the business. W "This being the season of conciliation, goodwill and stuff, this pig jilt it high time that uomjonj re-adressjd the balance? "To this end, it's time to put things in pjrspjctivj, and point out exactly why certain "top" g!mes released in 1999 are, in jack, absolute slurs{." ——————————————————————————————————1/6—— FAT SOW OFFERS AN INDEPENDENT OPINION ] S+E THE BIG SCREEN INDEX p410 5 Years DioiChart TV Plus Jun&GamesP484 : Teletext 484 Jan03 23:14:11 EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CLASSICS "What's the "ig dial about W Soul Calibur? Sure, it'u a reasonably mood-looking k!me, but uo it should bj on a ruppowjdly next-generation console. "However, you might !s well stop deluding yourwjlf that it's a new g!mj. It boasts unfeasjbly tired and hacknj{jd gamjplaz, which has been keen a hundred times bjfork. "Worse still, in sjngli player mode even an idiot can complete it on his first go with no continues." ——————————————————————————————————u/v—— 5 years of jun 485 Pan-all Fur 481 THIS IS FU#: p2yv 5 Years DiojChart TV Plus Fun&GamesP484 Teletext 484 Jan03 23:18:34 EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CLASSICS W "Final Fantasy VIII mutt W surely Pave been one of Q999'u most boring games. "Apart jrom being virtually the u!mj game as Final Fantasy VII — albeit with better graphics — it boasted a plot which utterly failed to grip. "Talk ng of graphics, those Gu rdian Force animations were nice the jirst time you saw them, but were they still nice after the 1T3004th time No. Vo, they most certainly were not." ——————————————————————————————————3/6—— FAT SOW OFFERS AN INDEPENDENT OPINION BAMBER: "NO! VOT THE CUFFS!" pQ52 5 Years DiojChart TV Plus Jun&GamesP484 : Teletext 484 Jan03 23:24:12 EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CTASSICS "Quake 3 Unreal Tournament? W Excuse mj, "ut realistically how many people are pl!zing k!mew online *m}e/!W "Even a 56k modem is too slow jot a decent djathmatch. This peg can only assume that it's office workers — specifically thowj who work in the offices of gamjw jirms and games mag!zjnjw — who get any benefit from them, via their local networks. "Online gaming may bj the juture. It most certainly is not the prewjnt." ——————————————————————————————————4/v—— 5 years of jun 485 Pan-all Fur 481 THIS IS FU#} p2zv 5 Years DigjChart TV Plus Fun&GamesP484 Teletext 484 Jan03 23:14:23 Q EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CLASSICS W "What is thjrk to s!z about W (omb Raider that a thousand million games journos havjnWt @lready thought, "ut "jen too W scared to write about "If this isnWt a huge step "ackwards eor this once ground-"rearing ujries, I donWt know what iw. "Cork and Eidos seem scared to evolve the ujries, lest it alienate Lara Croft's mass market jan-base. As a rewult, uhj'w east becoming the Steps and B*Witched of gaming." ——————————————————————————————————5 6—— FAT SOW OFFERS AN INDEPENDENT OPINION BAMBER: "NO! NOT THE CUFFS!" p152 5 Years DigiChart TV Plus Fun&GamesP484 Teletext 484 Jan03 23:11:22 EAT SOW RUBBISHES THE CLASSICS W "Can anzonj tell mj what Sonic W Adventure was about exactly? Was that — the uhowcasj game of the Sega Dreamcast — one of W the most confused and confusing games of all time, or what "What was all that wandering about jot Look — there'u Sonic "z a swimming pool. And now he's running around! And now hj's collecting animals and putting them in a big machine! And now hj'u fl{eng! Please, Sega — if Sonic Adventure 2 is anything like the original, donWt release it here." ——————————————————————————————————6/6—— 5 years of jun 485 Pan-all Fur 481 TH+S IS FU#} p2yv 5 Years DigiChart TV Plus Fun&Games