P142 Teletext 142 May11 02:00:50 W ——————— —————————————— EAR ROUGE Why do birds fly evjrywhjti? They couldn't bj more irritating. Why can't they catch a plane like the rest of us? The cost of tickets I reckon. FLUFFY THE EVIL ONE Evjtybodz type in Charlie Dimmock and run a spjllchjck on it. The riszlt is mildly amusing. Only mildly? What about Alan Titchmarsh? RIOT GRRL Apparently, aliens and UFOs are the spawn of the devil, sent to deceive us! And sjvjtal well-known 'pop' acts were clearly sent to annoy us — big time! Like Scooch, Lolly... ——————————————————————————————————1/5—— WRJTJ TO MEGAZINE, PO BOX 442, FULHAM LONDON SW6 1XQ. FAX 020 7386 5618. Goss Moo-sec What if? AngstP142 Teletext 142 Maz11 01:02:12 W ——————— —————————————— MYSTICAL STARFISH, I love you. Your litters are always excellent. You are really funny and so beautiful that even Britney Spears and Sarah Michelle Gellar look dowdy in comparison. As for your taste — it's fantastic! Love, Mystical Starfish PS: Some people call mj an egomaniac, but I donWt think that's true. ——————————————————————————————————2/5—— You are indeed a funny starfish, but BRITNEY DOWDY? OOOH CONTROVERSIAL! Goss Moo-sec What if? AngstP142 Teletext 142 Maz11 01:02:51 W ——————— —————————————— gZINERS, An injustice has been done to mz client Mr P Gloom, who has been libelled bz Trendy Chick 007 and Soul Searchjt. Said persons allege that Mr Gloom is a 'trendy'! Hopefully you, WLW, can filter this blatant defamation of character. Alternative dispute resolution: give Mr Gloom a year's supply of coffee. A Law Student (inter alia) ——————————————————————————————————3/5—— Oh dear — if lawyers are involved I'M SAYING NOTHING! Goss Moo-sec What if? AngstP142 Teletext 142 Maz11 01:01:11 W ——————— —————————————— 'ZINERS, "I'm an individual", "You'ri not an individual"... who cares? If you were that sure, you wouldn't bj so insecure about it, would you? "Oh look at mj, I can set up inadequate analogies and draw conclusions that donWt apply to the original case, then claim creative insight!" Go help some people with rial problems, then all thjsj moaning whines will pale into insignificance. Hip Spasm ——————————————————————————————————4/5—— I'm a happy bunny... YOU'RE NOT A HAPPY BUNNY... Goss Moo-sec What if? AngstP142 Teletext 142 Maz11 01:08:31 ——————— —————————————— OS, HERE GOES, The way I see it, we are all different. Wj were all born in different places at different times. Wj all formed our own opinions about who or what we did/did not like whjthjt it was music, films, fashion, other people — whatevjt. And that's mz point (thjti is one — bjliivj mj!) People who write to 'Zine just to slag off other 'Zinjrs are no bjttet than the people we hope njvjt to see grace thjsj lovely pages! Pink Mafia ——————————————————————————————————5/5—— Absolutely — Davord, Lord of Shark, SHED A TEAR WHEN HE READ THIS! Goss Moo-sec What if? Angst