P354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:17:54 NEW U ALBUM ——————————————————————————— ——— ABSENTEE Donkey Stock The former band of Magic Numbers singer Romeo Stodart (he guests on bass here), can the East Londoners escape from his shadow with their debut mini-album? They'll never achieve the commercial success of TMN but they deserve to be known in their own right thanks to Dan Michaelson's rich baritone. Something (o Bang is (inderstUcks cheering up, and there's an unlikely doomy cover of You're The One That I Want thrown in. The odd song is mere background music, but they share Stodart's twinkle. 6/10 ——————————————————————————————————1/8—— by John Earls Get your daily Marjorie Orr horoscope sent to your mobile See p108 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:28:14 NEW ALBUM ——————————————————————————— ——— FAT JOE All Or Nothing Whatever talents the Latino rapper once had, they've long since dissipated as he's pimped his clothing and lifestyle products like a cut-price Damon Dash. Listening to such a flabby load of self-aggrandising tosh is a depressing experience, Joe's eyes so nakedly on the blink instead of the beats. Production-line R&B, dreary and smug guest spots by Nelly, R Kelly and J.Lo, lasting over an hour... such albums sound dated already. As unnecessary as next year's Big Brother series. 2/10 ——————————————————————————————————2/8—— by John Earlw PADDY POWER- FREE £25/e25 BET ON BIG BRO WINNER! SEE p699 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:28:33 NEW ALBUM ——————————————————————————— ——— ALEX McEWAN Beautiful Lies As James Blunt befouls the charts with You're Unmemorable, record labels are already swooping to find the next shower of Milquetoasts whose vocal chords can be thorn of all character. McEwan is a former busker from Glasgow, yet he sounds like the third most- talented member of a two-hit boyband trying to do a Roman Seating. Wet Wet Wet released albums with more passion than this, ferchrissakes. Makes Blunt look palatable, which is impressive in a sick, twisted way. 1/10 ——————————————————————————————————3/8—— by John Earls Bamboozle fan ? Play for cash on your mobile! See p684 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:22:51 LIVE GIG —————————————————————————— ———— HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT Exeter Phoenix Football must be in its close season for these Tranmere obsessives to venture so far from home. The merrily awkward band draw from 20 years of sarky indie japes, celebrating The Len Ganley Stance and lamenting having tended The Wrong Grave For 23 Years. The showstopping 24 Hour Garage People has the packed crowd hollering their favourite sandwich fillings. They reach a crescendo with their first post-Peel anthem, the hilarious Joy Division Oven Gloves. 8/10 ——————————————————————————————————4/8—— VoidView by Martin Smith GOT A CAMERA PHONE? SEND US A WACKY PHOTO AND WIN £250!! SEE p682 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:13:25 LIVE GIG —————————————————————————— ———— NINE INCH NAILS Birmingham Academy After two sweaty and encore-less hours have elapsed, MIN's enviable body of work can be considered explored. The new boys, with backgrounds in more reckless bands, are obviously happiest let looge on Wish or March Of The Pigs, but dutifully rein it in for moodier moments, letting Trent Reznor do his iconic rock god bit. The finale is not unlike much of the Fragility tour, but that's forgivable. Anyway, such intimacy with such a superstar can only be treasured. 8/10 ——————————————————————————————————5/8—— VoidView by Mark James Get your daily Marjorie Orr horoscope sent to your mobile See p108 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:17:47 ————————————————— —————————— —— NEW SINGLES OUT THIS WEEK MAXING PARK Going Missing In the class of British Sea Power's Please Stand Up for anthemic ballads from otherwise eccentric popsters, it's an oddly moving, sombre moment. Proof that there's a lot more to them than the engaging japes of Graffiti. BLOC PARTY Pioneers Decent enough song and all, but why bother with what must be the 14th single off the album? No B-sides to speak of, though at least they're deleting it the day of release. ——————————————————————————————————6/8—— by John Earls FULL GUIDE TO CHANNEL 4 p400 Charts Roots GameCentral MortgageAdP354 Teletext 354 Jul18 23:13:08 ————————————————— —————————— —— NEW SINGLES OUT THIS WEEK ESKIMO DISCO 7/11 While waiting for Scissor Sisters to put out a new album, fans would be well advised to try this lot. The best country & western dance spoof since The Grid's Swamp Thing, there are also hints of The KLF in the bravado at attempting such an unlikely hybrid. THE CUSTOMERS 55 \ Yet another Brighton band, who have a harder edge than most peers, while retaining elegant harmonies. Lacks a killer chorus, but worth investigating. ——————————————————————————————————7/8—— Our roots are showing 356-7 Ace 380 PADDY POWER- FREE £25/e25 BET ON BIG BRO WINNER! 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