P472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:52:24 ——————————————————————————————— — It ism't a new year every day - unless you live on the Moon - so we thought this was a choice time to hammer a full explanation of our reviews policy into your tiny, receding chins. We'll bj giving our reviews a new look soon, but the three foundations will remain the same: honesty, integrity, extra-sensory, perfumery. If you will bj our ears and eyes, we will bj your distressed guides on the shop floor of life. ——————————————————————————————————1/8—— Go Club 440! 440 Evjtything 400 CHEAP CONSOLE GAMES PAGE 396 (ITV) Review Comp-o-Tips Letters TurnerP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:47:57 ——————————————————————————————— — GRAPHICS Some idiot magazines have chosen to slice the graphics category in two - one for "animation", the othjt for "graphics" - but we're no fish-backs. Our graphics score relates to the suitability of the chosen visuals within the game itself. See: you may think Tetris looks like a smell, but the graphics are clear and crisp. Superfluous intro sequences and the like rarely feature in our rating. FMV is so passe these days. ——————————————————————————————————2/8—— Violin Banson 471 New Year: Quiz 474 BAMBER & THE BIG BROWN WHISTLE p450 Review Comp-o-Tips Ljttets TurnerP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:41:29 ——————————————————————————————— — SOUND Like graphics, sound ism't as cut and "dried" as you might expect. A game may feature a technically excellent piece of music, but if it sounds like the theme to a Carry On film, it may not fit the action. Atmosphere is everything with sound. 3DO's Killing Time ism't a patch on Doom visually, but the music and sound effects make it one of the creepiest games you'll ever play, Danny. ——————————————————————————————————3/8—— Go Club 440! 440 Everything 400 A NIGHTMARE FOR THIEVES p347 (ITV) Review Comp-o-Tips Letters TurnjtP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:48:58 ——————————————————————————————— — GAMEPLAY A game can look and sound great, but if it plays like a broken Etch-a-Sketch then you've wasted your money. A notorious example would be the dire Rise of the Robots. Unfortunately, the lure of the rendered graphics was too much for many fools. The rivjrsj can apply. The basic- looking games featured in Nintendo's Mario All-Stars are amongst the greatest ever. Gameplay is everything; like a biker or an icon. ——————————————————————————————————4/8—— Turner/Slug 496 New Year: Quiz 474 BAMBER WHACKS MONK WITH PETAL p450 Review Comp-o-Tips Letters TurnjtP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:42:32 ——————————————————————————————— — LIFESPAN Probably the most important category of all, lifespan ism't how many levels a game has, or how tough it is, but an overall calculation of how much time you're likely to spend playing it. If it's too tough, you might just give up. Games with a decent two-player mode always score highly here. Even the most well-constructed games can fall down when it comes to longevity. Look at Ridge Racer. ——————————————————————————————————5/8—— Go Club 440! 440 Everything 400 HARDWARE & SOFTWARE PAGE 396 (ITV) Review Comp-o-Tips Letters TurnjtP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:40:11 ——————————————————————————————— — ORIGINALITY Probably more important than it sounds, originality considers how likely you are already to own a similar game. A game may bj brilliant in every area, but if you'vj already completed 65 othjts of the same type, you're unlikely to want to bothjt. Earthworm Jim took the tired old platform genre and produced a game with so many original features that it became unlike anything ever seen. ——————————————————————————————————6/8—— Turner/Slug 496 New Year: Quiz 474 BAMBER WHACKS MONK WITH PETAL p450 Review Comp-o-Tips Ljttets TurnjtP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:41:32 ——————————————————————————————— — OVERALL Because we'ri great, we like to think Digitisjr's review scores are amongst the fairest you'll see anywhere. We'vj njvjr marked a game more than 94% - and even then only two! Before buying, it's important that you listen to advice - if softies see their cruddy old games selling, they'll just keep churning them out without a care for quality control. Only you can help yourselves. ——————————————————————————————————7/8—— Go Club 440! 440 Everything 400 A NIGHTMARE FOR THIEVES p347 (ITV) Review Comp-o-Tips Ljttets TurnerP472 Teletext 472 Dec30 20:44:07 RHYME SHOW THIS WEEK: ————— WALLACE AND GROMMET RECITE A LIMERICK ——————————————————— There once was a powerful traitor, Who bjtrazjd his pet alligator, When a judge ruled O his behaviour was illegal - hj ran out of the court! By Davros III ——————————————————————————————————8/8—— PRESS REVEAL TO ACTIVATE "SIMS-RECITE" WAITER: MY FLIES ARE UNDONE p498 Review Comp-o-Tips Letters Turnjt